Gohlkus Maximus

Today’s discovery: Wil Wheaton (of Stand By Me and Star Trek: The Next Generation fame) now has a weblog. Before you start snickering (I know, too late), he’s actually a decent writer and a pretty funny guy. I think he’s got his head screwed on straight. Turns out he cringed at the lines they made him say on ST:TNG as much as we did when we heard them….

Incredibly great news: My brother was hired today as a police officer! This is his first (real) job after getting his 2-year degree and 6 months of certification training in North Carolina. I’m extremely proud of him and happy for him.

Earlier this evening, someone put a condom on the handlebar of my bike, which was locked up right outside my apartment building. Upon discovering such a wonderful gift (the gift of latex [and it’s not even my anniversary]), which did not appear used, by the way, I did the only sensible thing possible: I carefully removed it with my housekey and gingerly deposited it in the nearest dumpster. This, 3 or 4 weeks after I find my (broken) bicycle seat (and [non-broken] post) stolen. Why me, people? Why me?

(Maybe it’s because I use nested parenthetical statements [multiple times, even].)

* * *

After the aforementioned condom removal, I rode my bike to the 7th St. Entry to see the Minders tonight. Damn good show. I spoke very briefly with the lead singer Martyn Leaper after the show and all I could really get out was, “I wish you guys could have played longer.” What I really meant to say was, “Your songs are beautiful, you are brilliant musicians, and you really know how to rock.”

Overheard at the concert (names are made up because I didn’t know them):

Tyler (introducing Greg to Frieda): [Greg] plays in a rock band.

Frieda (earnestly): Rock’n’roll?

Greg (deadpan, the bastard): No, just rock.

If it were fiction, my next line would have been:

Tyler: Yes, Greg says the rolling part can get tricky.

And the name of Greg’s band would be Chris Price and the Krackels.

If it were bad fiction, that is.

* * *

This coming Tuesday I find out whether I go on strike or not. Judging from the tenor of events, and the momentum that seems to be building, I’d be very surprised if we accept this contract. (If we reject it, I’ll probably canvass again, in addition to participating in job action activities [e.g., picketing], till the strike ends.)

Hey there! A couple recommendations:

1. Go to your nearest independent comic shop, or visit Fantagraphics online, and pick up Dan Clowes’ Ghost World, a compilation of stories about two teenage girls that have appeared in his brilliant Eightball series.
2. Then go see the movie he co-wrote with director Terry Zwigoff, of Crumb fame. Ghost World the movie was, well, worth the wait.
3. Wow, and on the Ghost World movie site (Flash), check out Steve Buscemi‘s selected filmography. What a great, underrated actor. I especially love his work with the Coen brothers. [Sheesh, that’s a whole lotta links.]

I saw the movie Friday night with Amber, who originally introduced me to Eightball. It was nice to see it with someone else who could really appreciate it.

Anyway, comics can be art. They can contain interesting and incisive social commentary. Clowes’ work—amusing, affectionately mean-spirited, and sardonic as hell—satisfies both conditions. Funny thing is, of course, only now that Ghost World has become a movie does Clowes get the publicity he’s always deserved.

* * *

This is great: competitive Photoshopping, or Photoshop Tennis^TM, by Coudal Partners, Inc. and company. Very clever stuff.

* * *

Happy 13th anniversary, Mom and Rich! Hope it was a good one.

Gee, haven’t been here in a while.

A couple things of note:

1. Went to Seattle for Thunder Lizard Productions’ Web Design World 2001. I enjoyed the conference and the city immensely (not to mention the beautiful weather). 72 and sunny. (Seems like a long time ago.) I got to meet Zeldman!
2. Working on strike preparations. Yes, a striking web designer. Virtually all state of Minnesota employees are unionized. We’ve been offered a 2% raise and higher health insurance costs. Great. We will walk, if a majority votes to do so, around September 20th. [The date is now set for September 17th at 6:00 am.]

Like me, have you been wondering what to do with your old cell phone? Donate it.

Independence Day.

Independents Day.

In a somewhat unnecessary time-saving move, I crafted about a week’s worth of anti-blog entries in advance. It may have saved me some time, but it did cost me a bit in accuracy. While I got much right (and admirably prevented myself from getting a couple things wrong), I still managed to incorrectly predict that the state of Minnesota would shut down.

Anyway, it’s nice to be back in the present rather than the former future. I’m actually writing this on July 3rd, 2001. (Yes, a few entries from the last few days were written in advance, but I’m done with that.)

Strangely, I don’t have a lot to say. [My stunts of the past week are evidence of my present dearth of deep insight and wisdom.]

I did enjoy myself in Chicago, however, and I’m having a great time in Columbus. I’ve seen fireworks twice since I left (on Thursday in Milwaukee and Saturday in Chicago), seen a couple movies and baseball games, watched cable, surfed the web…. why be away from home, you might ask? Well, at home I don’t have:

1. cable
2. Milwaukee’s Summerfest
3. Taste of Chicago (Summerfest is better)
4. The Chicago White Sox
5. The Columbus Clippers
6. importantly, the sense of perspective that comes with physical distance
7. most importantly, my family and old friends with whom I can converse, hang out, and feel as myself.

I expect to go back refreshed and ready to work. On what, I’ll let you know.

* * *

Ooh, this is so cool. Want to go to Mars? As of now, you can’t. But in 2003, NASA will send a CD of names to Mars, for some reason, and yours can be on it, for free. [The offer is no longer valid as of January 2003.] You even get a nifty certificate to print and frame. I’m printing mine when I get home, though I probably won’t frame it.

Incredible. It’s the last day of June, and Minnesota has failed to pass a tax bill and seven spending bills.¹ What this means is that, unless something miraculous happens tomorrow, the state of Minnesota will shut down for the first time in its history.

Incredible. It’s the last day of June, and Minnesota’s legislators managed to pass a tax bill and seven spending bills.² What this means is that, unless something bizarre happens, I will still have a job when I come back—no interruption in pay will be necessary! And that is good, for I need to get paid to live. And I want to live—I do.

(Incidentally, I won’t be going to work [Monday]. Of course, I’ll be on my way to Columbus, Ohio no matter what happens.)

¹ This was all speculation written before the fact. I have no idea whether this prediction will come true or not. [It didn’t.] This idea seems to have been subconsciously inspired by Esquire’s semi-fictional profile of Michael Stipe.

² I like this version, the real one, better.

Today, June 28th, is the birthday of (among others):

• Mel Brooks
• John Cusack
• Gilda Radner
• Jason L. Gohlke
• Jean-Jacques Rousseau
• Henry VIII of England

A journey into the eerie shadows of coincidence: Rod Serling entered the Twilight Zone, uh, died the exact day I was born—June 28, 1975.

I myself am spending the day in the city of my birth.¹

¹ “Ah, I see,” you suddenly realize, “all this time mumbo-jumbo is to obscure the dates of his road trip.” [This was all true.]

* * *

Hey, look, a great new Pinkey Suthers yesterday!

Oooh, boy. Mr. Nice dances [and for some reason, I laugh]. Courtesy (?) of memepool.

On a site like this [www.gohlkusmaximus.com], the dates on which I update the site tend to lose meaning as time passes. That is, as our distance increases from the creation date of any given entry, so does the relevance of the date that entry was submitted.

What I mean is this: Who cares when any of these entries are created, especially months later? So what’s the difference if I put up some entries I haven’t written yet—now?