I know, cheesy, but amusing:
Category: Amusing (if only to me) Page 6 of 7
I believe that I have a unique “sense” of “humor,” as do many people. (That sentence is true in both ways you can interpret it: Many people believe that they have a unique and beautiful sense of what’s funny; and many people believe that I have a unique outlook on phenomena which are humorous.)
So it occurs to me that I should document what I’m talking about. Nick at one time kept up a list of things that suck. In the exact opposite spirit, I will now start a list of things I think are funny. I’ll create a separate page for it at some point soon, but for now I’ll just use this blog entry.
For example, here’s one:
- A tearaway business suit that reveals another, different business suit.
I think there’s real potential here for me to document what I think is funny.
Feel free, by the way, to suggest things in the comments section, and I will respond by telling you not whether I think they’re funny or not, since that is a lower bar than I mean to set here, but rather whether I think they exemplify my own unique brand of humor.
About a year ago, Forbes said Milwaukee was the hardest-drinking city in America.
Hey, I didn’t need Forbes to tell me that about my hometown.
It makes me proud, really.
[I like the quote from “Lips” LaBelle, too. I can’t believe he’s still DJing on WKTI. I remember him from when I first started listening to the radio at age eight (that would be 24 years ago).]
Look, they finally guessed right on a friend’s name:
But of course, I knew it was spam anyway because it was among many other pieces of spam constructed similarly (first name and middle initial).
[MoveOn, Friendster, and the Squid List… yep, all spam.]
I’m a dork.
Wow, pretty self-explanatory, perhaps: The Aargh Page. It’s not exactly currently accurate, but that’s okay. I’m just really glad someone came up with this idea and executed it.
From the EULA for iTunes:
THE APPLE SOFTWARE IS NOT INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, LIFE SUPPORT MACHINES OR OTHER EQUIPMENT IN WHICH THE FAILURE OF THE APPLE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.
Uh, yeah.
Well, folks, Jason Gohlke is getting married today. That’s right—you heard it here first. Tying the knot. Gettin’ hitched. Ye olde ball and chain.
Before you get upset, let me clarify:
I’m a dork. I save plastic grocery bags because there’s no reason to get a new one every time I go to the store—it’s wasteful. However, every time I go to the store, I forget to grab one from my drawer of many bags. When I come home, I add the new bag or three to the already full drawer. How can I stop this repetitive pattern of destructive behavior?
The solution is simple. I designed a visually stark but effective [and clever] sign to tape to the back of my door. Now, when I leave for the store, I’ll be reminded not only that I need to go back and get a plastic bag, but also that I’m a dork.
You, too, can share this experience [except without the mild sense of accomplishment of having come up with the idea yourself]. Simply download the PDF version of the plastic grocery bag sign or the larger low-tech GIF version of the “got bag?” sign.
In honor of Nick, here are today’s Things that Suck.
- Crying cats outside the bedroom window
- A cat clawing the screen door and shaking it, loudly, repeatedly
- Ants
- Basements that smell like cat shit that require you to re-do your laundry
- Windows NT used as a web hosting platform
- Scabs (in any sense)