I pick the strangest times to stay up all night.
I also pick the strangest times to update this site. It’s somewhat foolish for me to attempt to document my emotions here, since they change constantly. (You’ve seen a sine wave, right?)
I also know that sometimes people that I actually know visit this site. That was the idea. However, there have been probably hundreds of times I’ve wanted to post something a little more personal, or something about a friend, or something about work, or something about someone I liked—but I haven’t, because I was worried about how people would respond to it. I’ve been very careful. Being careful, though, means being incomplete. It means hiding my thoughts and feelings.
I guess that means I need another outlet of expression, because I’m just not willing to fully trust myself to the Web. In recent weeks, I’ve been looking far more seriously into the idea of learning to play guitar (since anyone can, according to Radiohead). Even if I never write songs and perform them for people, I really feel the desire to have some ability to express myself musically. I may in fact get a guitar on Sunday.
Today I’m going to Richmond to staff CLCV’s table at an Earth Day celebration, after which I will go to a work party. I wish I’d slept.